I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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