Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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