I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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