I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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