Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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