Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize