he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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