he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize