also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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