My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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