so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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