You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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