The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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