you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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