I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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