community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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