Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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