I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize