you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize