Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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