There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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