and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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