I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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