i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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