sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize