in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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