Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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