we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize