I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize