what day is it and did you see me today?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize