He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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