Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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