Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize