Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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