based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize