u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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