I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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