Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
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Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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