just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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