do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize