I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize