This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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