Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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