You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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