dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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