I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize