I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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