I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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