I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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