I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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