It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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